Birmingham Week #2

When: 05/13/17

QIC: BabyFace, Nacho Libre, Crack

PAX (): Happy (FNG Michael Smith), Rapid (FNG Shahn Washington), Juice (FNG Ben Greene), THE Donald, Rabbit, Barney Fife, Commie, Mini, Marion Barry, Grundle, BamBam, Wildfire, Turnbuckle, Pew, Jiffy, Namaste, Doogie (F3Durham), BabyFace, Nacho Libre, Hot Sauce, Crack

Don’t you just love the gloom? I mean, the gloom can suck, but that’s only when your hands are being attacked by invisible sand burrs in the grass because you’re too tough for gloves. The best part of the gloom is the calm before the storm. The AO is quiet aside from the gentle chirping of flightless birds, the morning air is rich and ready for the day, and the DJ is blaring J Lo’s only halfway famous song. And apparently that is the standard in Birmingham @ Homewood Central Park. One week after the Big Bang happened to coincide with Homewood Homecoming Day or something along those lines (a big festival with jump houses and a 5k), one of my #ClownCar travel mates claimed there was a 5k starting at this exact same park on week 2. “Nonsense” said I. There is no way there would be a 5k from the exact same park in back-to-back weeks. Well, this must be the 5k capital of the world. As we pulled in, we witnessed tents, jump houses, a video game playing trailer (as if that is a real thing), and tons of signage for the starting line. So, now that a crowd of fans has gathered to watch What Went Down, let me tell you What Went Down.


Babyface gives the one minute warning and goes through the disclaimer for the 3 FNGs. In addition, there are 13 locals that have taken the #DRP, 1 visitor from F3Durham (Doogie) who is responsible for one of the FNGs (Happy), and 4 from F3 Alpha/North Atlanta/actually North OF Atlanta.

Quick mosey around the starstruck crowd for the following, all In Cadence (IC)

  • Side Straddle Hop x15
  • Cotton Picker x10
  • Imperial Walkers x10
  • Squats x10

The Thang

Over to the amphitheater and partner up for 11s. Both men work the 11s together with Good Morning Abbys at the top and dips at the bottom. Partners take turns doing the wheelbarrow up and down the  steps between each round.

After a quick 10 count, the Q baton shifts to Nacho and a little plug to the 2nd F component of F3. Staying at the amphitheater, backwards bear crawl up for 10 merkins at the top, mosey/walk back to the bottom and repeato for 3 rounds. Proper credit was given to F3Asheville for this routine.

A quick shout-out to Doogie for calling some IC dips and derkins while the 6 came in.

Next, partner up – new partners this time – for Decremental Catch Me if You Can squats around the small loop. One man runs backwards while his partner does 20 squats. Once the squats are done, he sprints to his partner and they flap jack, this time with 19 squats. Continue all the way down through 1.

Another 10 count, another baton passing, this time to #YHC, and another shameless plug regarding the 2nd F. Mosey around aimlessly until I can located a decently unoccupied area which turns out to be the tennis courts. Try to explain partner suicide BLIMPS, fail pretty miserably, but somehow, these guys are smart enough to figure it out. (More on the intelligence of this crew in the NMM.) Halfway through the suicides, the M and 2.0 of what is currently a sad clown but likely a future PAX came to the second court, so we modified to share like big boys and limited our suicides to one court. One last 10 count as the PAX thank the lady for her role in less running and head back to the flag for 6 Minutes of Mary (MOM), all IC, including:

  • LBC
  • Right elbow plank dip and flapjack
  • Freddy Mercury
  • American Hammer
  • J-Lo
  • Box cutter
  • Flutter

Counterama, Name-o-rama, and COT

Making things happen through F3 in Birmingham, appreciation for all of the moms in our lives, and some FNG name time.

Naked Man Moleskin

  • Theme of the day was the 2nd F: Fellowship. These guys have some great things going down here. It seems like everyone is bringing out their friends, the park has welcomed them with open arms, and there are plans for a 2nd F happy-hour on Wednesday (Dram, starting around 5-530, see BarneyFife on twitter for more details, if necessary).
  • So Doogie is in town from Durham for a wedding. And what do you do when you travel? You find the nearest F3 AO. And when you find a local F3 beat down, what do you do? You tell your friends and EH on your travels. That is exactly how FNG Happy has come to know F3. I have a feeling Happy will be very appreciative of his fellow Blue Devil in the coming months.
  • FNG Rapid was an EH thanks to Pew and it turns out they have a Whetstone-like relationship via Pew’s church as well. These guys will have some good stuff to offer as Iron Sharpens Iron.
  • Welcome to FNG Juice, a Buffalo boy at heart. If you need to ask him his name 5 times, don’t feel bad about it. I was part of his naming and proceeded to ask him at least that many times.
  • Sometime around 0658, one of the guys asked us if he should wear gloves and I proceeded to tell him that all of the ladies wear gloves where I come from and he took them off. About 10 minutes later I was squealing in pain due to sand burrs. How in the crap do you guys have sand burrs in B’ham?!! Wear gloves all the time at this AO and never listen to anything I say. Both are valuable lessons to take home with you.
  • I think it was Turnbuckle that was aware of the prayer and moment of silence just before the start of the 5k and during our name-o-rama. Good thing, too. We would likely not have made a good impression on the group of cancer-killing runners by being loud. Due to his awareness and the fact that we can reverse bear crawl in spite of sand burrs, half of the 5k will try to figure out who we were.
  • When partnering up with Mini on the decrementals, his attitude was hard not to notice. He’s not the fastest, but he stays on the prowl and enjoys every second of it. Mini, you were probably faster than me when I started, so stick with it and you will be leading the pack before long.
  • After working out with a handful of different F3 regions and having read at least 100 BackBlasts from regions other than mine, NEVER have I ever seen so many smart dudes. Brain surgeons, neck surgeons, heart surgeons, whatever surgeons, physical therapists, lawyers, robotic dental implant inventor owners… you name it. I can assure you where this plumber will head when it comes time for anything health-related and serious.
  • Thanks to the hospitality from Fife. I encourage you guys to lock shields with this dude and watch big things happen in both your life and your community.
  • Finally, I want to thank Wildfire. Usually, I am the one hugging people simply for being people. Wildfire beat me to it before the beatdown. That’s my man!

Juggernaut, thanks for the keys, and thanks to everyone else for taking the time to read this CrackBlast. On behalf of BabyFace, Nacho, and the one and only Hot Sauce, bust it!

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