Worse Than Kissing Your Own Sister

AO: The Gladiator

When: 09/18/2018

QIC: Viking

PAX (): Kegger, Viking, Stroller, Beauty, Postal, Delicious, Scar, Defcon 2, Manchester, Moonshine, Sox, Spandex

In competition, they say that a tie is worse than kissing your own sister. YHC agrees that there is nothing more Un-American than NOT having a winner and a loser when it comes to competition. YHC, having Wisconsin roots, had a rough weekend after watching his #6 Badger football team throw their season away to the Joseph Smiths of BYU, and then see his beloved Green & Gold TIE to the… VIKINGs.

“Wait, Viking doesn’t like the Vikings?” you may ask. Like every good FNG naming session, the PAX brutally named this FNG “Viking” because of my love for the Packers. (But in hindsight, Viking is a pretty good F3 name…)  So as YHC struggled to overcome a weekend of pain, I decided the only way to cope would be to drag my fellow Gladiator PAX through the ringer with me. No doubt, some of the PAX may have dreamed of seeing some hard cider provided to them from YHC this morning, but instead all they were going to see was a hard cinder. What a big difference one letter can make….

(Full Disclosure: YHC stole this morning’s game-plan from our cousins at The Wreck, which I saw performed last week.)


Mosey around the parking lot once to see if any stragglers showed up. Sure enough, in came Sox, who has done a very good job of avoiding any type of running/moseying over the past few weeks. #propstoSox

20 Side Straddle Hops

15 Mountain Climbers

10 Weedpickers

5 Merkins in up/down/hold cadence


Everyone moseyed back to the flag to grab their Cinder. Off to the soccer field. YHC’s “F3 Playlist” was already blaring at midfield from his M’s pink flower Bluetooth speaker (thankfully, none of the PAX noticed the un-manly design, as sweat was blinding their eyes the whole morning).

15 stations were set up on each sideline of the field (30 total stations). Instructions were given, the PAX split up so we weren’t running into each other. Each PAX performed the exercise described at each station, and then moseyed across the field with their coupon. Back and forth we went.

Below are all the exercises performed, but not necessarily in the order listed. Unfortunately, while stumbling around in The Gloom around 5:00 a.m. while setting up the stations, YHC accidentally shuffled around some of the exercises. A lot of mumble chatter and obscenities were directed towards YHC when it was discovered that Diamond Merkins were placed back-to-back (or was it a three-peat?). Kegger thought a few times about throwing his cinder at YHC, but calmer heads prevailed.

  1. 25 shoulder presses
  2. 25 squats
  3. 30 flutter kicks
  4. 25 merkins
  5. 35 American hammers
  6. 25 rows
  7. 30 curls
  8. 25 diamond merkins
  9. 35 mountain climbers
  10. 35 bench press
  11. 25 jump squats
  12. 25 Russian kettle bell swings
  13. 35 step ups
  14. 25 dips
  15. 25 durkins
  16. 35 LBCs
  17. 25 squats
  18. 25 shoulder presses
  19. 30 low dollys
  20. 30 merkins
  21. 30 curls
  22. 25 flutter kicks
  23. 25 rows
  24. 25 diamond merkins
  25. 30 flutter kicks
  26. 30 jump squats
  27. 25 LBCs
  28. 25 rows
  29. 25 Russian kettle bell swings
  30. 25 shoulder presses

5:58… time to get back to the flag. One more house special of flutter-kicks led by Scar finished off the morning. #propstoKegger who left a sweat imprint of his Gladiator t-shirt on the cement after he got up.

There were no ties today! Each PAX ended up a winner by embracing the You vs. You credo, by not fartsacking, and by burning some serious calories. Well done men.


Kegger – his neighbor unexpectedly passed away due to a heart attack. Keep the decedent’s significant other in your prayers and the rest of the family as they mourn in this time of grief.

Viking – a friend from HS back in Wisconsin, Hannah Flatt, passed away a few weeks ago to cancer. She was 24. Pray for the Flatt family as they grieve. Hannah was one of the most kind/funny people around. She loved Jesus and she wanted others to feel that joy & hope, even in her final days here on earth. Viking mentioned that this is a great reminder that none of us are guaranteed today/tomorrow. Each day is a gift from God.

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