4-Foot Field Torture: How I Survived the Pain Stations of Doom

AO: Firehouse

When: 06/01/2023

QIC: Lightweight

PAX (7): Ace Ventura, Better Call Saul, LifeLock VPN, Lightweight, Seaman, Suarez, Weasley


Some showed up for the pre ruck/run


Went to the usual spot for my usual recommends.

The Thang:

Hold on to your abs and get ready for a tale of sweat, pain, and laughter. This morning’s workout took us to the dreaded 4-foot ball fields, where we embarked on a journey filled with pain stations that would make even the toughest warrior cry. But hey, what’s life without a little laughter amidst the sweat and tears? Let’s dive into the hilarity that unfolded during this unforgettable workout session.

Workout Details:

  1. Corner 1: Pretzel Crunches – Twisted Abs and Twisted Humor Imagine a room full of grown adults attempting “pretzel” crunches. No, we weren’t attempting to snack on giant pretzels mid-workout (though that would have been a great reward). Instead, we contorted our bodies like human pretzels, attempting 20 crunches per side. It was a sight to behold! With our wobbly twists and hilarious facial expressions, we brought a whole new meaning to “funny bone.”
  2. Corner 2: Merkins – Pushing the Limits and Pushing the Laughter Ah, the good old merkins (push-ups). As we struggled to push ourselves off the ground, our faces turned red, and our determination grew stronger. But let’s be real, there’s nothing quite like the sight of a friend’s arm shaking uncontrollably or someone collapsing mid-push-up, only to roll onto their back like an upturned turtle. Laughter truly is the best medicine, especially when you’re face-first on the turf.
  3. Corner 3: Squats – Booty-Burning Fun and Bizarre Sounds Squatting, a simple exercise with a not-so-simple outcome. As we attempted to perfect our squat form, our legs quivered, and some even let out mysterious noises akin to a deflating balloon. If only there was a soundboard capturing the symphony of grunts and groans, it would have been a comedic masterpiece. Who knew a workout could transform into a comedy show without any script?
  4. Corner 4: Knee-to-Opposite-Elbow Mountain Climbers – Fumbling and Stumbling Mountain climbers, the bane of our existence. As we scrambled to coordinate our arms and legs, chaos reigned supreme. Knees met elbows in unexpected ways, and bodies wobbled like a Jenga tower on the brink of collapse. It was a knee-slapping, elbow-bumping dance of hilarity. Who needs a clown at the circus when you have a bunch of workout enthusiasts attempting mountain climbers?

Transition: Sprinting/Bernie Sanders – A Race of Silly Strides Between each exercise, we turned up the comedy factor with sprints or Bernie Sanders. Picture a group of determined individuals sprinting sideways, feet entangled like a mixtape of wrong moves. The sight alone could make even the most stoic passerby crack a smile. We might not have broken any world records, but we certainly broke the record for the most sideways shuffle fails.

Conclusion: In the world of workouts, humor is the secret ingredient that keeps us going. This memorable workout session on the 4-foot ball fields had us laughing, groaning, and building friendships through shared laughter. Sometimes the funniest moments happen when we least expect them, like when we’re challenging our bodies to the limit. So, embrace the pain, embrace the laughter, and remember, a hilarious workout is always a workout well done.


Ended with Ball of man

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