Must be SANTA

When: 12/24/16

QIC: Crack

PAX (): Boomer, Sunshine, Kisses, Mufasa, Miller Time, DoSiDo, BabyFace, Play-Doh, FNG- Monocle, FNG- B-Ham, Foghorn, Crack

Apologies for the BB delay. I can tell you that I attempted to produce this BB within 2 hours of the beatdown, but unfortunately the F3 site was down so I could not. And if I told you that, you may wonder if that was really true. And if you wondered that, you would think of ways to check its veracity. And if you could not quite confirm its veracity, you would then realize this backblast was actually produced prior to the beatdown with 100% accuracy and you could only be amazed. Or you may just realize that my membership with Miss Cleo is in good standing. Either way, this backblast is at least a week old now, yet its only 2 days after the fun it references.

Quite wonderful conditions greeted 12 faithful at Widow-Maker this AM. I don’t know exactly what those conditions were, but trust that they were wonderful. What more could you hope for with the Christmas magic that was no doubt in the air. 2 PAX (Foghorn and my Brü, Mufasa) made strong on 30 minutes worth of rucking pre-beatdown… but that ain’t no big deal from these two. YHC gained some real excitement when he saw among the attendees were two of his former rastlin’ coaches. Excited just to see them? Possibly. Excited at the opportunity to return the pain that was ever-so-often inflicted during those practices? More likely! Here’s what happened:

Turn on the Christmas jams and mosey to the cul-de-sac to start with warm-ups:

  • goofballs
  • cotton pickers (the long slow version)
  • partner derkins

Plank to discuss the upcoming hit song from Mitch Miller’s Holiday Sing Along album: Must be Santa. Start in plank, down on Santa, up on Santa, and obviously sing along to the entire song.

Global Warming, which is the same as slowly shuffling side to side in a wrestling stance, while following the Q’s call for OYO exercises. Completed were:

  • CCDs
  • Mountain climbers
  • Rosalitas
  • Freddie Mercury’s
  • Diamonds.

Next, descending curb crawls, starting with 10 curb merkins down to 1.

With the Christmas rhythm still rocking, Mosey to the nearby stairs for Stairway to 7. Fun times trying not to trip all over each other on the too-narrow-for-12 stairwell!

Another mosey from there over to find a coupon, stop for a couple of genuines, mosey with the coupon toward the playground, stop for a set of ascending testicles (nice work DoSi), and then finish the mosey to the playground. Partner up: One partner does: 1 pull-up, 5 toes to the bar, 1 pull-up, 5 knees to elbows, 1 more pull-up. The other partner does 5 reverse burpees with the coupon and then American Hammers until they swap. 3 sets in total and then head back to return the coupons. Stop by the concession stand once more for an ascending testicles rematch. Play-Doh didn’t realize it was a competition the first time. This time his was ready. The Q rolled in a quick set of hip slappas and ballzy merkins to throw off his timing, but he would not be denied the victory! Finish dumping that coupon and continue onto the #SF for a little Boomer-led Merry.

Finally, there is just enough time left for Bob Dylan’s version of Must be Santa. His is not a sing-along version, however, so we did burpees upon every Santa call. If you were quick enough and followed the song appropriately, you did 32 burps in just over 2 minutes. Nice work!


  • Its Christmas! So much to love about this time of year.


  • Two FNGs today thanks to some “convincing” from BabyFace. One – now simply referred to as B-Ham – was 15. Is that an F3 record for youthfulness? Probably! And aside from that Ohio State garb, he was impressive today. But why wouldn’t he be? He is a top-notch wrestler. Probably gets its from his dad, which was the other FNG: Monocle.
  • YHC actually wrestled for Monocle 16 years ago. He used to torture us (in a positive way, you liberals) and I hope I was able to return at least the slightest amount of retribution this morning. Even if Monocle did feel tortured, he is the kind of guy that will be back one day. Maybe soon, maybe once we get an AO a little closer to his home, but one day.
  • We also had another visitor and another former coach of mine. I was sure this was our 3rd FNG of the AM and then I heard him introduce himself to a couple of other PAX: Play-Doh. He had an F3 name! What are the chances?!! Turns out he spent some time in Durham, posted with F3 and then decided to run the BRR race from Virginia to Asheville with those F3 amigos of his from Durham.
  • YHC had only intended for the PAX to have to crawl 12-15 feet between merkins, but the large majority of them could not understand being directed to the appropriate set of curbs. So, when the aforementioned HC decided to lead by example, he was rudely accused of taking shortcuts. Instead, the PAX had to bear crawl about 40′ between merkins. As for shortcuts, those belonged to all of the “HIMs” out there wearing gloves. Those “HIMs” must be into soccer as I didn’t notice a single wrestler wearing any such mittens.
  • Speaking of wrestlers, take a hint from BabyFace and EH a wrestler. Those guys are easy to get out!
  • Reminder: this upcoming Saturday, New Years Eve, is bring an FNG day. If you don’t, you owe 50 burpees, regardless of whether or not you attend on Saturday. For the first time all year, Trojan will be leading the reigns! There are a couple work-arounds to avoid burpees:
    • bring an FNG any day this week,
    • bring someone back that has not posted for at least 6 months
  • Otherwise, accept your burpees and do them like a man. Just don’t miss out on taking a chance to make a difference in someone’s life. Invite a sad clown!

Ho! Ho! Ho!


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