“Alexa, Play All-Out 90s on Spotify”

Preamble:

Ahh, the 90s. The greatest 10 years in history. It’s the decade gave us timeless treasures such as Furbies and Pogs; technological advances like CDs, DVDs, and the interwebs; entertainment like that coffee-shop sitcom that wasn’t Seinfeld but tried really hard to be; and most importantly, it was when we were introduced to true icons like Jeff Bezos, Justin Timberlake, and YHC.

This morning we began the celebration of YHC’s birthday with a tribute to the decade in which he was blessed enough to be born. Just think…only 2 months earlier and I would have been an 80s kid. Woof.

Warm-O-Rama:

Here’s how it went. The Q queued up some quality 90s jams to direct us in our BD.

Warmup (Self Esteem-The Offspring)

• Mosey to the parking lot
• Circle up and…
• SSH
• Windmills
• Squats
• Moroccan Night Clubs
• Yada Yada

The Thang:

Grab a coupon (on the lighter side) and a partner (no discretion on size)

We play a song, and rotate running to the end of the parking lot and back while your partner stays and AMRAPs an exercise. Rotate and repeat until the next song.

• Gin & Juice – Boats & Canoes (I think I heard someone say these were Grouchy Frogs? Crouchy Frogs? Either way, there was copious amounts of leaning back).
• What is Love – Overhead press your coupon while your partner “Chris Kattans” instead of runs. Get it? It’s the 90s version of a Cusack. Hilarious.
• Jump (Kris Kross) – Bobby Hurleys. In honor of the OG hate-able Puke basketball player…and ya know…Jump
• Mambo Number 5 – Curls for the Gurls
• Baby Got Back – Back Squats w/ Coupon. ‘Nuff said.
• Give it Away – Bus Drivers
• Livin’ La Vida Loca – Skull Crushers. Not really sure what we were going for here. It just couldn’t work our legs lest we not be able to fit in leather pants.
• I’ll Make Love to You – alternating Monkey Humpers and Pickle Pounders while partner runs. My attorney advises I not comment here.
• Tearin’ up my heart – Rotating Merkins: Regular, Diamonds, Carolina Dry Docks. I don’t know…diamonds could kinda look like hearts, and you’re doing that boy-band dance move thing?
• Tubthumping – Burpee every time you get knocked down.

It’s really hard to mess up the timing on a BD that is literally timed out by song. But, YHC proved it’s not impossible. Had to cut ‘N Sync and Chumbawamba short and still got back to the flag a minute late

COT:

Sir Elton serenaded us with Circle of Life during the COT.

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• Monthly BD with No Longer Bound. Talk to PitStop or join the Slack channel.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Thanks for letting me workshop this one with y’all. I hope you weren’t too offended by some of the pairings there. Also note, there were no copyrights infringed upon in the writing and executing of this BD & Backblast.

PS – is it Scratch-Off, Scratchoff, ScratchOff, or Scratch Off? Asking for a friend.