Farmer’s Mile – Eggnog Edition
AO: The Wreck
When: 12/13/2022
QIC: aflac
PAX (18): Bear, Blue, Catheter, Circus, custard, Donor, Foley, Grouch, Juul, Matt Shields-Norm, Meltdown, Raider, Sell-out, Sic’em, Squeegee, Switch, Rosie (FNG)
Preamble:
YHC was looking to add some holiday flair to a crowd-favorite beatdown and concocted a version that would add a gastrological challenge into the mix. He also did his best to channel 1/10th of Raider’s creativity by arriving early for a festive setup that included coupons, gifts for the PAX, a lit tree, and a crap-ton of eggnog. Surely, this would be no ordinary BD.
Warm-O-Rama:
Mosey up the road backwards to the first speedbump, then alternating side-jacks for about 30yds each. Continue mosey until reaching the large parking lot for proper disclaimers and the following warm-ups:
- SSHs
- Weed-Pickers
- Hillbillys
The Thang:
Q directed all PAX to select a partner of opposite abilities (Clydesdales matched with Cheetahs) and fetch a coupon from Foley’s truck. As the following instructions were given, audible moans were plentiful from the crowd:
- Partners would collaborate to complete 4 laps around the perimeter (.31mi per lap) in counterclockwise direction.
- Partner 1 would farmer-carry both coupons, while Partner 2 would run a lap+ until reaching Partner 1 again.
- Upon passing the Christmas tree, Partner 2 would select a “gift” with written exercises on the back, to be performed together upon catching up to Partner 1.
- All PAX must take a 3oz shot of eggnog upon passing the Christmas tree.
Yeah, you read that correctly – by my calculation, that would amount to each PAX consuming upwards of 15-18oz of eggnog over the course of nearly 3 miles. Q figured the odds of someone projectile vomiting being reasonably decent, although no such events were actually witnessed. This was noted for future reference.
With T-5 remaining on the clock, Q directed all PAX to return coupons to Foley’s truck, take a final shot of eggnog and sprint back to the flag. Most PAX wisely mutinied on the shot/sprint concept.
COT:
- Welcome FNG Rosie (Paul)!
- Annual white elephant gift party.
- Continue to think about the less fortunate in society, especially this time of year.
AFLAC out.