PAX (14): Baskins, Benny, Chinstrap, Crab Cake, Depends, Deuce, emeril, Goldberg, Inseam, Mr. Hand, Schneider, Spit Valve, Swiper, Valley Girl
Saying the phrase, “Valley Girl Beatdown” doesn’t exactly conjure up an unpleasant experience, in fact, to some gutter-minded PAX it probably conjures up some weird, inappropriate fantasy. Therefore, for my first Q I wanted to make sure that the Valley Girl Beatdown was a memorable beatdown that would challenge one and all!
For the warm-o-rama, we mosey’d on over to the coupon pile and circled up. After butchering the disclaimer, I was thrown off a second time by a PAX breaking the circle and running back toward the parking lot as if he stole something. It’s probably no surprise to learn that it was our newest teammate, Depends (yes – the adult diapers), who was justifying, in real time, why he was given that memorable moniker. Seems he had some soldiers trying to go AWOL, but the rest of the group soldiered on and proceeded with SSH, Willie Mays Hays, Weed Pickers, Moroccan Night club and Good morning’s.
For THANG 1, we partnered up and grabbed some coupons. It was time for a rendition of the Bernie 1-2-3, which involved running Bernie Sanders style up the 50 yd hill then running back, while their partner contributed to 100 kettlebell swings, 150 shoulder presses and 200 squats. (OK, so not really 1-2-3, rather 1, 1.5 and 2). The only chirp I heard from the PAX was Deuce, wishing I would have offered some sort of coupon pre-selection disclaimer about kettlebell swings, since he was feeling ballsy down by the rock pile and grabbed a heavy coupon. Those swings get painful with a heavy weight.
And yes, Depends made it back with newfound vigor and a real fire in his belly. Metaphorically.
THANG 2 we mosey’d up to the turf where Q had set up 4 stations for a little 7 of diamonds. The 4 stations were MERKINS, BBSU, BONNIE BLAIRS and X-FACTOR’s. 4 rounds, 7 reps of each station then three more rounds of 14, 21 and 28 reps. And you have to bear crawl the entire time between stations. We ran out of time in the middle of the 4th round, fortunately, as Q was having serious regret about that Bear Crawl idea. We mosey’ d back to the flag for some box cutters and plank leg raises.
Prayers and strength to Deuce and Mr. Hand, who are dealing with some close friends and family with health issues. Continued well wishes for Snowman and 5-way, coming off a nasty bout with the ‘Rona. Congrats to Swiper for his daughter getting engaged!
My VQ was a blast, and my apple watch says I set a PR for calories burned, so hopefully PAX got a good workout. Looking forward to the next one!