Viking VQ Turns PAX Into Field Fairies

AO: The Gladiator

When: 08/30/2018

PAX: Scar, Tebow, Moonshine, Puddle Jumper, Kegger, Sox, Shrinkage, Brownie, Delicious, defcon2, Viking, Spandex, Manchester (FNG)

QIC: Viking

The Game Plan

Boy oh Boy, was YHC ever fired up for his VQ! Late last night YHC went  over to the AO (East Roswell Park) to set up some small soccer goals in preparation (see last part of the BB – Crabby Bear Soccer). To YHC’s demise, both soccer fields were packed with field fairies of all ages. “How dare they use our hollowed ground…” YHC said to himself. You see, YHC was under the impression the soccer fields were made specifically for F3 use, but YHC learns new things every day, and he quickly swallowed his bitterness. Since YHC couldn’t set up the small soccer goals, he moseyed around, mapping out the rest of the game plan for the next morning’s gloom.

YHC tried to go to bed “early” at 10:00 p.m, but as a natural night owl, he didn’t fall asleep until 11:00. YHC set the alarm for 4:20, but the adrenaline rush of the humid gloom awaiting him woke him up at 3:30. “Go back to bed, Viking.” YHC muttered to himself, and slowly drifted back to 40 more minutes of restless sleep in the fartsack.

5:00 a.m. – Up and at ‘em. YHC arrives at the AO intending to quickly set up the soccer goals that he could not setup the night before.

5:02 –  as YHC crossed the road to get to the soccer field, the first arriving PAX (Delicious) was coming in hot, determined to run YHC over with his car. YHC muttered some more: “Man, volunteer to VQ, they said. It’s a lot of fun, they said…” YHC could already see the headline of the BB if he didn’t make it across the road in time: “Viking’s VQ Roadkilled.” But nothing could stop YHC now. He gazelled across the road, narrowly escaping Delicious’ attempt to mutinize YHC’s VQ.

5:03-5:10 –  YHC earned some extra credit dragging each small goal about 75 yards and into position. “Why am I doing this?!” YHC mumbled, already working up a sweat.

5:10-5:15 – YHC returns to the flag, happy to see a number of PAX have already showed up, and noticing an FNG.

5:15 – Disclosure given for everyone and the FNG, and The Warmup begins… with Puddle Jumper burning some rubber to make it just in time.

The Warmup

We moseyed for about 30 seconds and got right into it:

  • 22 Side Straddle Hop (YHC’s cadence instructions were a little fuzzy on the start, but DC2 straightened him out)
  • 14 Weed Picker
  • 9 Abe Vigoda (still don’t know how to pronounce this)

About 1-2 more minutes of mosey,  mixing in some high knees and butt kicks. We worked our way to the north part of the AO, finding the pavilion close to the pond and fountain. This is where THE THANG began.

The Thang

Everyone found a picnic table in the pavilion and did the following:

  • 20 step ups
  • 20 Leg Raises
  • 15 Hail Mary’s (partnered up, one person held a merkin plank position, while the other placed their feet on the plank’s back and did dips on the picnic table)
  • 10 Hail Mary’s (Rinse and Repeat the above)

(Al Gore for the 6 in between each exercise)

We moseyed back to the parking lot with the flag, and some of the PAX started to mumble chatter, requesting if we were finished. To be honest, YHC almost gave in, as he had a great breakfast waiting for him at home. But we pressed on. And it was fortunate we pressed on, as we picked up a straggler (Sox) who must have pulled in a few minutes late and was scouring through the wilderness to try and find us. The family reunion was short and sweet, and Sox jumped right in.

5 Ascending Curb Crawls – Everyone lined up on the curb, bear crawled to the other side of the road, stayed in position while “backing into the cave” to do 1 derkin (feet on the curb), then headed back to the original curb to do 2 derkins, etc. and back and forth until we reached 5 derkins. Many of the PAX were no doubt wondering why the VQ did not instruct the PAX to bring gloves, but hey, VQ’s are supposed to make mistakes. Interestingly enough, YHC’s heart rate reached 191 during this exercise, the highest he has had it in a few weeks.

Mosey to our hollowed ground, the north soccer field.

4 corners:

  • Corner 1 – 5 sets of 4x4s (burpee, into 4 pushups, into 4 mountain climbers, complete your burpee = 1 set)
  • Run to Corner 2
  • Corner 2 – 20 monkey humpers
  • Lunge to Corner 3
  • Corner 3 – 5 sets of 4x4s
  • Run to Corner 4
  • Corner 4 – 20 Big Boi Situps
  • Long Jump back to Corner 1

The gazelles mixed between monkey crunchers and LBCs as they waited for the 6.

10 seconds of recovery

Rinse and Repeat 4 Corners, exchanging Corner 1 to be 20 Jalo’s.

Mosey to the center circle of the futbol field, where we did a round of Duck-Duck-Q. Time was running out, and YHC was hoping to allocate the final 5-8 minutes to turn the PAX into Field Fairies. But all went according to plan, as Duck-Duck-Q finished right around 5:50.

Mosey to the other hallowed ground, the south soccer field. Most of the PAX were wise to not follow YHC’s first path to the south field, as there was an impenetrable fence in the way. Oh well, a faster paced mosey to fix the problem and get back in front, as YHC tried to regain the reins of everyone’s spirits.

Crabby Bear Soccer (where the PAX became Feld Fairies)

Yes, this section gets it’s own header. “There is nothing like a little competition to start the day.” YHC tried to establish rules:

  • Skins started out in a bear crawl position, while shirts started out in a crab walk position. (We switched halfway through)
  • Hold your positions while soccer is attempted to be played.
  • The PAX could use their hand and feet, but could not hold the ball.
  • If a team scored, the other team had to do 3 burpees
  • If the ball goes out of bounds, everyone does 1 burpee.

There was a lot of mumble chatter, which made YHC all happy inside. No goals were scored, with Puddle Jumper coming the closest with a beautiful shot off the side bar. YHC attempted a scissor kick while in the crab walk position and failed miserably, but may have pulled something. Although no goals were scored, there were plenty of out of bounds opportunities for the PAX to do a burpee, which I think was a blessing in disguise (it gave us momentary relief from our crab walk/bear crawl positions).

5:58 – YHC called the game as a draw, and the PAX got out of their pretzel’d positions and moseyed back to the flag, with just enough time to do some cadence-led American Hammer (led by YHC) and Flutter Kicks (led by Scar).

6:00-6:05 – YHC could not be happier to yell “Recover!” YHC was so eager for announcements and prayer (remember that breakfast awaiting him?!), he forgot to do a PAX count out, name-o-rama, nor welcome the FNG. Seasoned veterans quickly stepped in to save the day, and it was great to welcome FNG: Manchester!

COT Announcements:

  • There are a few opportunities to do the IronPax Challenge this Saturday. Check Slack for locations.
  • Sox is looking for more tennis players in his league. Contact him if interested.

COT Prayer:

  • Beauty’s continued recovery
  • Safety for those traveling this holiday weekend
  • YHC gave thanks for the PAX and asked God to work in our hearts to be men of impact in our marriages, families, work forces, and community.

Thanks everyone for putting up with YHC’s VQ! It was an honor. Who will be the next VQ?!

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